Four Effective Ways to NOT get hired!!!!

 

Wouldn't you agree that as a young leader it is a real pain to have to interview for a job? I mean really... who wants to get a good job, who wants to communicate well who you are and how you can be a blessing to a company or organization, who wants to have meaningful ways to serve your community, who wants to make a difference in this world through your work. It's so much more fun to be turned down in a job interview, even if you would do a great job, right?

So try out these effective strategies that I guarantee will keep you from ever being employed... ANYWHERE.

First, never create eye-contact. Eye-contact demonstrates confidence. It communicates strength of character. It shows you are present in the moment. NEVER DO THIS! You might get a job it you do this. Yikes.

Second, whatever you do, not matter how hard it may be... do not, I repeat, do not smile. If you share a genuine smile during your interview, that person may think that you are a kind and caring person. DISGUSTING! And if they think you care then they might give you the opportunity to (I'm about to say a really bad word) WORK! Uggghhhhh.

Third, remember, mumbling is your friend. Never ever speak clearly and enunciate. Never talk with enthusiasm and purpose. This communicates that you would bring energy and passion to your work and that you would add value to the organization. It just gives me the creeps to think about it. So, just keep your mouth half or mostly closed and rarely speak in the direction of the person you are talking to.. and you'll be fine.

Finally, I cannot say how highly I recommend checking every text, listening to every sound, talking to every passer by, and generally staying distracted during an interview. I shudder to think about it, but if do the opposite, if you stay connected in conversation with your interviewer he or she may see you as a respectful and focused person, the kind that would be a joy to work with. What a horrible possibility!

In summary, if you don't want to be weighed down with a meaningful, compelling, useful job, four sure fire strategies are to 1) Never make eye-contact, 2) Never Smile, 3) Never Speak Enthusiastically, and 4) Never stay connected in conversations. I guarantee that you'll never get a job.

Good luck... I mean bad luck to you!

Special thanks to Frankie Turner for Chic-fil-A at Hunter's Crossing, Alcoa, TN for the positive version of these core 4 competencies.